The Sick Doctor: A spirit crushed.

I opened my office in January. I had left my father and sisters practice in order to do it my way. After working with them for several years the office had become filled with tension due to differing philosophies and increased difficulty in dealing with insurance companies. My personality is very different than both my father and sisters. I am more outgoing and socialble while they are more guarded yet structured. Our approach to patient care became competitive which I assume is normal in any family business. After the constant bickering had taken enough of a toll on the family I opted to leave and pursue my own business.

I wasn't dreaming of a flashy spa like office. I just needed a place to start my practice and develop it on sound principles. I envisioned a place where people could come for honest, personable care that wasn't driven by ego or greed much like many of todays facilities. My understanding of the human body had grown tremendously since graduating through interaction with patients and my part time job as an anatomy and physiology instructor at a local college. I had all of the ingredients for a great practice; knowledge, a love for my patients and a personable disposition. I was excited about my venture although I was concerned I may be underfunded. I found a small office on a busy road only ten blocks from my house. With a low overhead and great visibility I was confident of my success.

The office needed paint, a toilet and new carpet. I had gathered up spare equipment from my father and several other doctors and my mother stocked my used desk up with plenty of post it notes and pens. I ordered the internet and two phone lines, bought some waiting room chairs and a flashing open sign to draw attention. It took me a few weeks and a loan from a friend to buy my unlit sign to hang from the railing above my office. Everything was set and I was excited. 

I called Blue Cross to arrange for my change of address and to set up my online account. That process took four months to complete.  I handed out business cards to local primary care physicians and everyone else I came in contact with. Within a week or so I had several new patients and a few that I had treated previously at my fathers office. Some were self paying patients but most had health insurance. I quickly had to learn to work the front desk, treat the patients and do the billing. I found that verifying insurance, filling out the billing forms and calling for payments were taking most of my time. I struggled through confident that in the near future I would be able to hire someone to tke care of the clerical work that I had no interest in or knack for.

That was eleven months ago.

I still have no help in the office. In fact I don't even have the internet or a working phone line. The sign that I was so proud to hang will either have to be taken down soon or, through some miracle, a new telephone number will have to be painted over the old one.

This wasn't the plan.

I never envisioned that I would be living from copay to copay. When I bill an insurance company I have no idea what, when of if they will pay. There are dozens of insurance companies and thousands of plans. Even within the same insurance companies there are different pay structures so it is almost like pot luck. In some instances they pay for a service wqhile at other times, even on the same patient, they refuse payment. Sure you can call them and spend an hour on the phone but that iften leads to the same result.  

I sent workmans comp a bill in June and after recieving payment for four months I called them. I was told that they are five months behind in data entry. I called them again a month later an there was no record of my claim.

I sent a bill in for six visits on a new patient on October 6th and as of today nobody has a record of it.

I have had people come to my office angry that their insurance company didn't pay something demanding that I write it off.

I have had people walk out of my office claiming to go to the ATM, never to return.

I had a woman deny payment stating it was my responsability to tell her about her insurance poilcy,

I have had enough. 

I have had enough of living with no heat, awaiting an insurance check.

I have had enough of being hungry waiting for a deductable to be paid.

I have had enough of calling insurance companies asking to be paid while my malpractic insurance threatens to cancel me.

I have had enough of going to the office at ten at night to see patients who could never find the time during normal business hours, only to be never paid for my services.

I have had enough of explaining to my car loan company, my school loan collector, my landlord, the electric company and all of the people I owe money to why I am a Doctor but I have no money.

I simply have had enough. 

There hve been people emailing me from across thr country who after finding my website want advice but never follow through with phone calls.

I have discounted care for people who claim they can't afford it, all while I had no food in my own kitchen.

I have been told by patients that their lawyer wants them to have $4000 tests even though there was no clinical reason to perform them.

I watch as insurance companies buy up the best real estate and build palacial offices under the guise of being non profit.

I read about the head of Pennsylvania Blue Cross making twelve million dollars a year, yet I go weeks without payment.

I owe close to two hundred thousand dollars over the next thirty years and I can't get paid for a forty dollar office visit within four weeks.

There is no buy out for me. No watchdog group to protect providers. The insurance companies determine who can do what for how much, not the state, not the board, not the patient and not the doctor.

It has taken the governent 13 years to impliment a 10 didgit National Provider Id, and it still is not accepted by all of the insurance companies and people think that a national health care plan is possible?

I haven't bought a present for my neice in a year, nor my mother, father or sisters. I haven't dated anyone in four months or flew on a plane in 6 years or visited a beach in two.

I wanted to care for people, and that has made me sick.

I can no longer laugh, smile, eat sleep or breath without a disgusting knot in my stomach knowing I pissed my life away.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. 

I have added comments for people who want to share their frustrations with either the health care system or the general public.